Tending Your Social Anxiety Garden

When social anxiety flares up, it’s like a wall is being placed around me. A wall of weeds, maybe. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

This is one reason that I’m not so sure social anxiety can be “cured.” ⁣⠀

I think it can be managed, much like a gardener manages the growth of unwanted weeds in her flower beds. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

But if she stops pruning and tending, the flower beds become overgrown, and she has a lot of work ahead of her. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

That’s how I see social anxiety, or my experience of social anxiety. ⁣⠀ ⁣

If I’m not constantly pushing myself to stay engaged with other humans, the fear returns. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

It’s tiring. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

And it’s sad, because I think there might be something of a social butterfly trapped inside this social anxiety chrysalis.⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

𝘞𝘰𝘸, 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘹𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘦. (𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘰𝘰.) ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

Social anxiety is not *who I am.* I am not social anxiety. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

I’m the gardener. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

Social anxiety is the overgrowth. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

But the past few days, I have been struggling to even pick up the pruning shears. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

I just wanted to let you know, because I know I haven’t replied to you the way I normally do.

But I’m here, and I see you, and I appreciate you. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

And if you’re in the midst of a flare-up too, my gentle words of advice would be to remember that social anxiety is not who you are. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

(𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘭𝘺.)⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

Recovery Is Not About “Getting Over Your Issues”

I used to think that if I could just “get over my issues,” I would be happy.

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 “𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫” 𝐦𝐲𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

Plus, my interpretation of 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘦𝘴 looked like stuffing them down inside and ploughing ahead, hiding my limping mental health. ⁣⠀ ⁣

I say 𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 because if I had *actually* been limping physically, I would have stopped to rest and assess. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

Not so with mental health. ⁣⠀ ⁣

Today, I no longer think it’s 𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳/𝘰𝘳. It’s not “either you have issues, 𝐨𝐫 you are happy.” It’s not “either you get over your issues, 𝐨𝐫 you remain unhappy.”⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

The two are not mutually exclusive, nor does one guarantee the other.⁣⠀ ⁣

Overcoming 𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳/𝘰𝘳, 𝘢𝘭𝘭-𝘰𝘳-𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 is an ongoing part of the recovery process, for me. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

Thanks for reading. xoxo⁣⠀ ⁣⠀

P.S. 𝘐’𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨-𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘐 want 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥. 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘐’𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺.

I’d like to share a post by fellow mental health blogger Megan, because she has echoed a lot of what I’m experiencing from an anxiety perspective: Mental Health Monday: 7 Tips for Having Hard Conversations About Race When You’re White and Have Anxiety

I will end with this thought, which is imperfect, but my understanding of everything that’s going on is just as imperfect and constantly evolving:

Social Anxiety in the Bedroom #1: The Struggle Is Real

Content warning: …sex. Obviously. (Not too graphic though.)


If I had to break down socially anxious sex into 4 overly simplistic, tongue-in-cheek steps, it might look like this:

Step 1:

Start with all the typical fears related to social anxiety.

To name just a few:

Being judged by others in social situations

Being embarrassed or humiliated — and showing it by blushing, sweating, or shaking

Accidentally offending someone

Being the center of attention

Source: WebMD

Step 2:

Hold on tight to those fears as you remove all your clothing.

You are now naked.

Proceed to step 3.

Step 3:

Continue to hold on tight to those fears as you turn to other human or humans in room.

Note that they, too, are naked.

And looking at you.

Step 4:

Prepare to interact with other human(s) in the most intimate way imaginable.

Now.

Right now.

Congratulations!

You are now ready to have socially anxious sex.

But Seriously Though

It’s not your fault if anxiety is creating challenges for you related to intimacy or sex.

You didn’t choose to have anxiety in the bedroom any more than you chose to have it outside the bedroom.

Anxiety doesn’t END at the bedroom door

(I keep saying bedroom but feel free to replace this with your sexy location of choice.)

Anxiety is hard enough to manage during non-sexy times, and it affects an individual’s whole life.

So it only makes sense that these challenges would carry over into the bedroom. You’re still the same person there, after all.

Anxiety can be a mood killer

It can be physically difficult, if not impossible, to relax enough to enjoy the moment. (No relaxy, no climaxy.)

Medication can be a factor

SSRI and SNRI medications can cause sexual side effects.

This can be infuriating, embarrassing, and discouraging. (There are ways to mitigate this effect depending on the medication. For example, for me, adding Wellbutrin [buproprion] offset the anorgasmia caused by SNRI and SSRI medication. Talk to your doc.)

Anxiety is pretty common here anyway

Sex can be nerve-wracking even without an anxiety disorder in the mix.

It can be fun but scary, exhilarating but finicky, restorative but messy. (So messy.)

Moral of the story: We’re all imperfect

Please don’t be too hard on your imperfect self for being imperfect in the bedroom, too.

Anxiety disorder or not, WE ARE *ALL* IMPERFECT IN THE BEDROOM.

AND DON’T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU BELIEVE OTHERWISE.

xoxo

P.S. Why I Wrote This Post

The impact of social anxiety on sexuality is a legitimate issue that I would love to see discussed in a candid and relatable way.

The tone I aimed for here is lighthearted and hopefully a little funny.

This isn’t “the” definitive post on socially anxious sex.

I’m just hoping to open the door to more conversation and thought.

And even if there’s no public talk, maybe someone out there will feel a little less alone and a little more understood. xoxo

I Feel Self-Conscious About Wearing Shorts (With Audio!)

There’s a video at the end of me reading this post out loud! I thought it would be a fun new challenge for me. (It was!)


I love summer.

I hate shorts.

There is not a single style of shorts that I feel comfortable in. (Which is maybe not surprising, considering there is all of ONE style of pants I feel comfortable in, plus one style of workout legging.)

But shorts.

Shorts are ACTIVELY unpleasant.

And then you have tank tops. And t-shirts. And bathing suits.

And I’m all for body positivity, body neutrality, body acceptance, and generally tearing down the whole diet culture institution.

But my own body image issues are not as progressive or empowered when it comes to MY body.

Long story short, I’m really happy that the weather is turning warmer, but I’m also dealing with a major flare-up of body anxiety.

That inner voice, somewhat subdued during the winter, is trying to tempt me back to the restrictive and obsessive tactics of summers past.

And I’m not going to succumb.

Because I know acceptance and confidence will not be found down that well-worn path.

But the alternative path is unfamiliar, and I’m not really sure how to make progress in that direction.

And that is why I am directing all my anxiety and frustration at shorts.

All shorts.

(I was tempted to end with, “DOWN WITH SHORTS!” but then I realized that pulling down shorts would leave me in my undies, and I’m not much more fond of how I look in those. So the shorts remain up and on, but only because of what they conceal.)

P.S. Capris, you’re just almost as bad.

I did a reading of the post!

I did a reading of the post!

Lockdown Life #4: Preparing to Emerge From Our COVID-19 Cocoon

Lockdown has felt like the strangest limbo version of life.

Ontario, the Canadian province we live in, is entering phase 1 of turning itself back on again after 9 weeks of flattening the curve.

Here are a few reflections I’ve had over the past 9 weeks, which I’ve been jotting down as we go.


A big small world

For me, everything feels less “compartmentalized” globally now.

We all got sick together, as a planet. Our economies suffered together, as a planet. And sickness and economic suffering are still happening.

Strength in numbers has come to mean strength in isolated numbers. And vulnerability in physical proximity.

Viruses don’t care about borders

I understand more than ever that borders are not impenetrable to tiny viral invaders.

I understand more than ever the importance of an active economy, and the challenge of balancing physical health, mental health, and economic health.

Daily life has become tiny and quiet

Our contribution has been to stay home. Our role is to help stop the spread by staying away from others.

We know the world and situation are constantly evolving, but it has also felt like someone hit the Pause button on reality.

The spectrum of experiences for this pandemic is vast

For us, it could be described by words like isolated, quiet, eerie, simple, and confined.

For essential workers, the description would certainly be a lot grimmer.

For those who experienced illness or the death of a loved one, the pain must be unimaginable.

We don’t know what “normal” will look like after this

You don’t get to know how history will unfold as it is happening.

But we do know that the Global Pandemic and Great Lockdown of 2020 will make the history books.

There are silver linings

I have been reminded to appreciate everything that we have.

I’ll never resent all the extra time I’ve had with my kids and husband (even though the flip-side also meant occasionally overdosing on each other’s company).

I’ve finally started to miss other humans

I told Jesse the other day that I think I’m ready to start seeing other people.

“Socially,” I added.

He thanked me for specifying.


I’m conscious (and a little self-conscious) of my privilege in this situation. As hard as parts of this have been, my family has been very much “okay” this whole time.

But these thoughts have been on my mind over the weeks (months), and I figured I might as well share them, because pushing myself to do the uncomfortable is almost always valuable practice.

How has this all been for you?

Thanks for reading 🙂

Thinking Back To My Shy Teens

There have been times when I’ve thought back on my teens and 20s, and wondered:

Did my debilitating shyness and untreated social anxiety come across as me being unfriendly or thinking I was too good to make friends?



In high school, I was an anxious overachiever.

  • I always aimed for A+ and panicked if it didn’t happen (or seemed like it might not happen).
  • I memorized every detail I could before a test (but was too fretful to ever pause to digest the information).
  • I became editor-in-chief of the high school yearbook because I NEEDED TO MATTER.

Beneath the surface, hidden from even my own insight and self-awareness, I was riddled with anxiety, perfectionism, and rock-bottom self-esteem.

Years later, a former classmate made an offhand comment that I don’t remember verbatim, but it came down to “you were too good to hang out with us.”

My teenage self would have been mortified to hear this.

That shy, lost, neurotic 16-year-old who wanted nothing more than to stop feeling like she only mattered if she was perfect.

There is so much I would go back and tell that girl. So much pain and burden I would try to take off her shoulders.

I had no idea how I came across back then. All I wanted to know was, “Am I okay yet? Am I good enough now? Is this right?”



I’m 34 now

  • I still don’t have a good sense of how I come across to others.
  • I wonder if my “extra-ness” and nerdiness and perfectionism come across as stuck-up or goody-two-shoes.
  • I wonder if my empathy and vulnerability and people-pleasing nature peg me as an underdog, a sort of homely but hopeless puppy.
  • I wonder if my social anxiety and shyness make me seem flakey and cold and uninvested.

These worries are becoming easier to manage as I grow and heal.

Most of the time, they are background music that I can consciously tune out. The music takes over only in my hurting moments.

But I’ve come a long way. I’ve learned that imperfect is way more relatable.

And that it’s better to be the flawed, friendly person at the party than the aloof cool kid that everyone is afraid to approach. (Not that I was “cool” anyway.)

Is This a realistic goal?

I want to get to a solid place of not needing to care either way.

I want my sense of self and self-esteem to be so unshakable that I just do my thing, appearances and perceptions be damned.

But I’m prepared to accept that I still have a lot to learn about all this.

I Am Not Social Anxiety (And Neither Are You) ⁣

I am not social anxiety, but I accept it as part of my life.

I’m still working in the direction of “recovery,” but I’ve made space for a lot of nuance in what I think that looks like. ⁣

I think I used to equate recovery with “cure,” and I used to think “cured” meant no longer socially anxious or held back by “shyness” or “introversion” at all. ⁣

But that mindset came from a place of unnecessary and hurtful self-rejection. ⁣

Self-acceptance

I had to shift to a place of self-acceptance before any recovery could really take place. ⁣And there have been some other changes, too:

  • I stopped viewing shyness or introversion negatively once I realized they weren’t the same thing as social anxiety (or as one another).
  • I’ve started to see social anxiety disorder as the thing that makes me censor myself from the world. ⁣Even from myself sometimes. Recovery has meant learning to turn down the censor and let the real me emerge. ⁣
  • Perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned that self-shame is just not a useful tool for recovery.

Not broken

I’m learning to accept that who I am inside is 𝘯𝘰𝘵 the problem. And that recovery doesn’t mean “fixing” the real me within.

I’m not broken.

Please don’t beat yourself up if you experience social anxiety. You’re not bad or weak or broken.

You are not social anxiety.

xoxo

I’m Not an Expert (Hello New Readers!)

⁣Hello there, new readers (and oldie-but-goodies)!

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣I’m Sadie.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣


⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣I’ve had a bit of growth on my blog and Instagram account recently, so I wanted to take a quick moment of your precious time to re-state that 𝘐’𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

Just as a sort of disclaimer for my own peace of mind.


General update for readers old and new

I’m going to experiment with my posting schedule and post styles for the next couple of weeks. Jesse has been super helpful as a sounding board on all this. ❤

I need something to help with my blogger’s block and blogging perfectionism that I’m struggling with since I decided to make my Monday posts “BIG DEAL POLISHED PIECES.” (Maybe I’ll do an actual post on THAT, too.)

Just as a heads-up if you start seeing me more often and/or more informally. I hope you’ll bear with me!


⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣My account has always been about sharing 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣I share my reflections on what I have learned (and am still learning) from therapy and beyond, but it always comes from a 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣There are some fabulous therapists and coaches out there. ⁣⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣⁣I’m neither of those things.

(𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯, 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵.)⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣I want to share my own 𝐫𝐚𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 so that, hopefully, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 if you’re going through similar things or know someone who is. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘺.

⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣I’d love to have you follow along so we can learn from each other :)⁣⁣

Now I’d love to hear from you!

What do you like to share on your own blog?

👇😘👇⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

10 Things You Might Not Know About Me

Due to a bad case of blogger’s block, none of my attempts at finishing my planned post drafts came to fruition.

Instead, here is a list of 10 things you might not know about me. In case you would like to know 10 more things about me.

The things

1. I speak French. I grew up in Wakefield, Québec, and went to school in French until grade 8.

2. I have a bachelor’s degree in translation (from French to English).

3. I freelance as a translator and editor.

4. I have a tattoo of a fairy kitten on my shoulder. I got it when I was 15 and plan to cover it up with a bigger, adorable-r creature.

5. As a teen, I worked as a babysitter and lifeguard. In retrospect, undiagnosed anxiety made lifeguarding very stressful.

6. I swam on a masters swim team for a couple of years, and competed in a national masters swim meet in Nanaimo, BC. (My favourite stroke is butterfly.)

7. I haven’t weighed myself at all in 2020.

8. I’m 5’4-5’5.

9. I suffer from scalp psoriasis and it is the bane of my existence when it flares up.

10. I hope plan to write a memoir someday.

That’s all for today! Thanks for reading. 😊

What is something people might be surprised to know about you? 👇

I Took 4 Online Tests for Social Anxiety: Here Are My Results

In 2018, I did a 12-week group therapy program for social anxiety (I talk about some aspects of the program in this post).

As part of the program, we were regularly asked to complete a questionnaire to track our level of social anxiety.

At the beginning of the program, my score was at the highest end of Severe, on a scale of Mild, Moderate, Severe, and Very Severe.

At the end of the program, it was at the lowest end of Severe. (Progress!)

During the program, I briefly went into the Very Severe range (it was around the time we started doing exposure therapy). But I also dipped down to the lowest end of Moderate during the program as well.

Anxiety levels vary with time and circumstances and many other factors. That’s why they scored us weekly — to see the overall picture.

It’s been a while since I had a formal assessment, so I was curious to see where I might fall on some online tests.

I included some screenshots of my answers and scores.

Read on, friends! I hope you find the post interesting. 🙂


Test 1:

PSYCOM Social Anxiety Test

My score on this test:

“Strong indication of social anxiety disorder (social phobia).”

Question example:

“Are you extremely conscious of your actions when in social settings because you fear they might offend someone or you could be rejected?”

My answer: Very often.

Thoughts:

I like the way the score is phrased here: “Strong indication of.” It makes it extra clear that this is not a diagnostic tool.

They include an image of where your score falls on anxiety-ometer (what would you call this?), but I’m not sure how meaningful it is, especially compared to, say, the ranges included in the results for Test 3 below.


Test 2:

Psychology Today Social Anxiety Test

My score on this test:

“No strengths.” (Fabulous.)

Question example:

“I blush frequently when talking to others.”

My answer: Completely true. (Hence the title of my blog.)

THOUGHTS:

You have to pay $6.95 to see the full tests results (which I guess is fair? the other sites don’t charge though), and they do tell you about the fee before you start the test.

The results they give you for free are not terribly insightful — they are more of a categorization of things you may already know about yourself. I read it and thought, “Well, yeah. Obviously.”

I wouldn’t recommend this test, unless maybe you want to buy the full report, but I can’t actually speak to the contents of the reports they give.


Test 3:

MIND DIAGNOSTICS

Social Anxiety Disorder Test

My score on this test:

“Extreme Social Anxiety (49/72).”

Question example:

“How often do you avoid expressing disagreement or disapproval to someone you don’t know well?”

My answer: Usually.

THOUGHTS:

My answer to that question above would actually be “always,” but that was not a choice.

They give you your full results, and the option of either signing up with your email address or skipping to results.

I like the language they use: “may be experiencing extreme social anxiety.” Not “you may HAVE extreme social anxiety” or “you may be SUFFERING FROM extreme social anxiety.”

I don’t personally mind if people use words like have or suffer from conversationally, but in the context of a test like this, I think neutral language is valuable.

I also like that they show you the score ranges.


Test 4:

Social Anxiety Institute

Test for Social Anxiety Disorder

My score on this test:

“71/90: High amount of social anxiety.”

Question example:

“Answering your phone without looking at who’s calling.”

My answer: High.

THOUGHTS:

The questions were straightforward, and I liked the colour-coded answers.

I did find myself wishing there was an option for “very high,” because there were a lot of situations where I would feel more anxiety than the situations where I said “high.”

For example, I would say “high” to a statement like, “answering the phone,” period. If you add “without looking at who’s calling,” then my anxiety level becomes “very high.”

(As in, I would absolutely never do that. That’s why we have voicemail. And google. For number checking.)

Oh and you do have to give your email address to access the results.


Final thoughts

Honestly, I really enjoy taking tests, whether they’re for mental health or personality or “What Kind of Pusheen Are You?

(I’m a Classic Pusheen at the moment, apparently.)

But that’s for another post.

In terms of my results on these four social anxiety tests, I have a few thoughts:

A little surprised

On the one hand, I’m a little surprised that I scored so high on the social anxiety scales, considering the therapy I’ve done and the fact that I’m showing up candidly and somewhat confidently on my blog and Instagram.

(It helps that there aren’t any non-child-non-husband humans around when I write.)

Lockdown effects?

On the other hand, the results are perhaps being skewed by the effects of the lengthy lockdown (entering week 8 as I write this).

I’m not seeing anyone but family, and tensions are just generally high in public. And, you know, globally.

Change how you look at progress

Even with therapy, I haven’t “erased” social anxiety from my life. I get anxious about many of the same things, to varying degrees.

The difference is that I’ve learned to better tolerate the anxiety.

Maybe if there was a test that measured “ability to function with/tolerate social anxiety,” those results would reflect my progress.

That’s a takeaway I’m pretty happy with, actually.


Three more tests

I was concerned about making the post too long, so I’m just going to list these here in case you want to take them yourself:


Disclaimer

This post is entirely for information/entertainment purposes, and not meant to provide instructions on treating or diagnosing any mental health concerns. Doctors first, always. xox


Have you taken any of these tests?

Feel free to talk about your results or thoughts in the comments!

I always enjoy your lovely comments. 🙂